


run away with me

by justsomejerk



Series: Kylex - Run Away With Me [1]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bros loving bros, Character Death, Ding Dong Jesse Manes is Dead, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Kyle loves Romantic Comedies and It Shows, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mutual Pining, Past Alex Manes/Michael Guerin - Freeform, Post S01, Sad Ending for Michael but he'll be okay, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-12 01:27:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20555945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justsomejerk/pseuds/justsomejerk
Summary: Alex has decided it's time to leave Roswell behind, but Kyle has a lot to say before he goes.





	run away with me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lusblim4](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lusblim4/gifts).

> Inspired by a prompt Lubs provided me, because Alex and Kyle really need to get out of that town.
> 
> Lightly beta'd by [ AnnCherie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnCherie/pseuds/AnnCherie) when I was about to give up on it. Thanks for your great advice!

The car was packed. All he had to do before heading west was drop the keys to the cabin off with Liz. 

Halfway to the car, he turns back and gives the cabin a lingering once-over. His memories of this place go back far, but lately it's only the recent ones that haunt him. The past year since Caulfield and Max and Noah has been worse than most of his years at war. 

Alex squeezes his eyes shut to stem the tide of flooding memories. From the nights when Michael's grief would bring him from the Wild Pony to the cabin, trying desperately to recapture the peace they once brought each other, to his father’s death here in Alex’s own backyard, to the doomed exploration of Whitehaven, another Project Shepherd facility, that nearly killed Isobel, Liz and Kyle in one fell swoop.

And through it all, Kyle has been Alex's only constant comfort. Their reluctant partnership became a friendship. The type of friendship Alex hasn’t had since high school, or maybe ever. The type where Kyle would show up at the cabin out of the blue with beer and pizza and force Alex to hang out when he’d rather fall asleep over his keyboard in his bunker, soaking in the bloodiest details of his family’s history of alien imprisonment and murder. The type where Kyle would insist on hugging Alex tightly every time they said goodbye, usually because someone was trying to kill them, and eventually just because. But now, since Whitehaven and since Kyle moved into the cabin during his recovery, their friendship is in a nebulous gray area they don’t discuss. 

Alex opens his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. He figures there might come a time when he'll want to visit Roswell again, but this town would never be his home again. That part of his life is over now. He sighs as he gives the cabin one last look, climbs into the drivers’ seat and heads to his last stop before the getaway truly begins. 

The sun has barely risen as he drives west into Roswell proper. He thinks he should be feeling the urge to take in his surroundings, memorize this drive he’s completed so many times now, yet he doesn’t. Very little tethers him to this place anymore. He had recently reconnected with his mother at Kyle’s urging, but she was living down on the reservation and she has said more than once she would never step foot in Roswell again. 

As he’s considering the sparse desert landscapes around him and the fact that he won’t miss them, he has a jolting realization: in all the heavy history he and Michael share, they’ve only experienced this drive together twice. Just a few days before the Whitehaven explosion, Michael was too drunk to drive home from The Wild Pony so Alex dragged him back to the cabin, despite Michael’s resistance. Michael tried to initiate sex at some hazy point shortly before sunrise, but couldn’t get hard and, despite not being a new situation for them, it somehow spiralled into yet another fight and the drive back to Michael’s truck the following morning was made in excruciatingly tense silence. That was the last night they spent together after months of back and forth. Even before Michael and Maria’s on-and-off relationship was off for good, he would show up at the cabin and sometimes Alex would give in, the shame and guilt feeding their increasingly bitter hookups. The worst was probably the night Alex came home with a tourist from Saturn's Ring to find Michael in his bed, drunk and breathing in the smell of his worn Air Force shirt, resulting in a screaming match and the roughest, most bruising sex they've ever had. They were both crying when they came. 

Neither could figure out afterwards when the stranger, his name long forgotten, slipped out of the cabin. 

It still amazes Alex to think about how he and Michael ended up. Maybe in another universe Michael would have been right in calling their love story cosmic. Indefinable and undeniable. Unbreakable. Neither of them could have ever imagined their connection would end this way. 

A slow fading away. 

In the end, neither of them were willing to truly confront the toxicity built up between them, to dismantle it and make it something tender again. So instead, it curdled into something bitter and sharp, and they both grew so tired of wounding themselves on the rough edges. 

Michael stopped showing up at the cabin after Alex spent a week straight sleeping at Kyle's bedside in the hospital, feeding him and caring for him alongside Michelle Valenti. 

_ Soft beginnings, bitter endings_, Alex muses to himself.

But everything ends. Eventually. 

***

“But are you _ sure_?”

Liz takes the keys from Alex’s outstretched hand, but her gaze remains cautious. She spends most nights at Max’s these days, but she agreed to stay back at Arturo’s to meet Alex early this morning. The Crashdown is closed, but Liz is behind the counter bleary-eyed in a robe, brewing coffee for them. Alex perches on a stool and rolls his eyes lightly. “Yes, Liz. You did this once too, you know. Do you regret that summer?”

Liz swallows hard and tilts her head, not breaking Alex’s defiant stare. “No. I don’t. I’d made the plan long before everything happened because I wanted to see the country. But I was also broken after Rosa. I spent a decade running away from all the things I left behind here. Do you really want to do the same thing? I don’t want you to push all these things down so far until you’re numb like I was.” 

Alex sees in her eyes shades of the old Liz, his caring best friend with the shining brown eyes that could easily wrap you up in warmth when you needed it most. The unsettling image of carrying her unconscious body into one of their vehicles in the rush to escape Whitehaven interferes with the calm of this quiet morning at the diner where he has so many happy memories. He lets himself wallow for a moment, flashing back to coming face-to-face with the woman who’d hijacked the ship back in ‘47, setting into motion so many things no one could have never predicted. Unlike the other prisoners, she’d only grown stronger in captivity. But she was also incredibly unstable and, ultimately, she died in the explosion she caused. In the initial aftermath, Max was able to heal Isobel and Liz’s injuries quickly, but he was tapped out by the time Alex and Maria located Kyle’s body, leading them to make a game-time decision that Kyle would just have to be healed the old-fashioned way in a hospital. Alex shook himself out of his reverie. There was no point in rehashing these memories now. He looks Liz in the eye and responds, “That’s the thing - I’m not running away this time. I’m not burning bridges. I even signed up for an Instagram account at Maria’s request. It’s just time for me, Liz. Everyone has to say goodbye eventually.”

Liz gives him a small smile, her subtle act of defeat. She knew it was a long shot, but she figured she should try anyway. She pours their coffees and they take the first few sips in silence. 

“So. How did it go when you said goodbye to Kyle?” She asks it with a purposefully innocent lilt to her voice that she knows Alex has no trouble detecting.

He smirks and gently shakes his head, looking away as he continues sipping. “It was fine.”

“It wasn’t. You didn’t say goodbye at all. He told me.” At her stern tone, Alex’s smirk flattens into a neutral mask and he remains silent. 

She’s right, of course. He’d purposefully waited to start packing the car until Kyle left to spend a few nights at his mom’s place. He’d told Kyle about his vague road trip plan in search of a new home just under two weeks ago, and he’d taken the news calmly, asking questions about where he might want to go and awkwardly joking about coming to visit and just moving in again. Alex had been reassuring him that he would tell him as soon as he’d decided on the date he’d be leaving town. Kyle’s calm inquiries took on an increasingly hysterical edge the longer they went on though, especially after Alex declared the cabin was his home now too and he should stay there after he moved out.

Liz takes Alex’s prolonged silence as an opportunity to walk around the counter and perch on the seat beside him, turning to face him fully. “Look. Whatever is happening between you two-” Alex audibly groans but she pushes onward. “The last time you left something like this unresolved with someone, you both clung to it for a decade. Maybe it doesn’t have to go that way this time.”

“Nothing is happening, Liz.”

Ignoring him, she continues, “You know, it wouldn’t be the first time you sparked a bi awakening in a guy.” Liz raised her eyebrows and winked at her friend before taking a sip.

Alex has too much self-control to allow himself to blush at that comment, but he struggles against the urge. He finishes off his coffee in record time to avoid responding.

Liz brushes his shoulder with her hand, and he reluctantly looks over to see her intent gaze. “Listen. I know things haven’t been the same since we both got back into town. Everything has changed. But I love you, okay? You’re one of my oldest friends. You know I just want you to be happy and treat yourself well, right?”

Alex swallows hard and nods, finding himself unable to respond. He didn’t realize until this moment how much he would miss her. When she stands and wraps her arms around him snugly, he finally says, “Love you too.”

***

He takes a brief moment to wipe at the unshed tears clinging to his eyelashes before pushing open the back door leading to the alley where he'd parked. 

At the foot of the steps, he stops short at the sight in front of him. Kyle is leaning against the drivers’ door of his SUV, arms folded across his chest, stubborn as he’s ever been, looking straight at him with an unusual hint of anger.

Of course Liz had told him where he’d be this morning. _ Traitor_, he thinks to himself. 

Alex is already shaking his head as he forces himself to move forward and calls out, “Kyle, don’t.”

“You were going to leave without saying goodbye!” Now that he’s closer, Alex can see Kyle’s eyes are already watery. He stops a few feet away and dangles the car keys at his side as he avoids meeting Kyle’s gaze. “Alex, look at me. Please.” A desperate tone in his voice, Kyle quickly closes the distance between them and Alex isn’t fast enough to get away before Kyle’s hands close around his forearms, preventing his escape. 

Kyle’s face is now only inches from his, so Alex squeezes his eyes shut. _ So much for being the bravest person he’s ever known, _ he thinks to himself bitterly. But he needs Kyle to understand that he’s not the person he thinks he is. When it comes to love, Alex knows he’s a coward and Kyle should have learned that by now. Especially after these past few months living together, and all the ways Alex has evaded confronting who they are to each other now.

He can’t stop himself from thinking of Kyle in a hospital gown, a vulnerability on his face Alex had never seen before. He kept a hand on Kyle’s shoulder, softly squeezing, when Dr. Kindelay told him with tears in her eyes about the nerve damage in his hand and arm, ending his still-young career as a surgeon. 

Kyle moved into the cabin once he was released. They didn’t discuss it in detail beforehand, as it felt like the natural choice to both of them. At first, Alex insisted on sleeping on the couch. Once he started talking about upgrading to a pullout for the sake of his back, Kyle insisted they just share the bed. It was a king size anyway, and they were adults. The idea of going back to his condo never came up, even though Alex would regularly go let himself in and gather up a few more of Kyle’s belongings each time to bring back.

Kyle’s grip on his arm doesn’t loosen, yet he doesn’t try to move any closer. “After everything we’ve been through together, you would really just leave? After Caulfield? Whitehaven? Your dad?”

Of course he had to bring up Jesse Manes. It feels like Alex’s head is about to split open from the ache that never fails to accompany the memory of the day he killed his father.

Except no one really knows who delivered the killing blow. The scene behind the cabin was complete chaos - Max, Michael and Isobel putting their newly evolved powers to use, Alex and Flint with firearms. Harlan and Jesse's other backup knocked unconscious, and later, mind-wiped by Isobel. Everyone agreed Alex should have the deciding vote on what they do with Jesse's body. 

Faking the autopsy of Jesse Manes, his body exhibiting multiple gunshot wounds, handprints and a conspicuously mangled left hand, was the final act undertaken by Project Shepherd before its 70-year legacy of screaming blood and torture was finally dismantled.

That night was the first time Alex cried in front of Kyle since they were kids. While the rest of the group scattered to their homes to deal with the fallout in their own ways, Kyle held Alex as he released a lifetime’s worth of agony, grief, and a secret yearning for a love and affection he was never going to win. That was the first night they fell asleep together.

Kyle’s tone is softer when he speaks again. “We almost kissed.” Alex grimaces. He can feel Kyle’s heavy breath on his face as he thinks of the night they celebrated removing the last of Kyle’s bandages together. Alex had allowed himself to get tipsy for once, and Kyle was blaring a pop-punk mix he’d created just to get Alex feeling nostalgic. Alex had been bobbing along to an old Taking Back Sunday song in the kitchen while chopping tomatoes, pretending he didn’t notice Kyle staring at him fondly from across the room, bags of groceries forgotten the moment Alex started singing along. Soon Kyle sidled up to him, his chest brushing Alex’s shoulder, and placed his right hand over Alex’s, stilling the movements of the knife and quieting the sound of his voice. Neither of them shifted to create distance the way they normally would in moments like these. 

“Why don’t I take over? These hands have to be good for _ something _ now.” He said it lightly with a smile. Alex turned his head, his shoulder and hand tingling from the contact and found a warm sensation spreading throughout his body. It was a sharp reminder he is the only person who has touched him in the months since he and Michael ended. Kyle’s attempts at physical affection had become bolder since his injuries, yet they were still mostly confined to the bedroom. It’s only in the dark that Alex allows Kyle to soothe him into sleep by wrapping him up in his arms and throwing his legs across Alex’s body, lightly holding him in place to keep him calm and secure when his PTSD symptoms are at their worst.

The alcohol has loosened Alex up enough that he doesn’t hesitate to turn and respond with a borderline-flirtatious, “I’m sure your hands remain skilled in all sorts of ways, Kyle.” 

For a moment, they both seem taken aback by Alex’s brazenness. There’s a heaviness in the air between them as Kyle’s gaze flicks down to Alex licking his lips. When their eyes meet again, Alex takes a deep breath and slowly starts to shuffle closer, to close the gap between them. Kyle’s hand was still resting on top of Alex’s on the counter, the knife he’d been clutching forgotten, and he’d just started slowly dragging his fingers up over his wrist and under his shirt sleeve, Alex moving his face almost imperceptibly closer, when the front door banged open and Maria’s voice rang out over the loud music, “We brought the tequila!”

“We literally share the same bed every night, and you won’t even acknowledge it. I know you wake up before me, Alex. I’ve _ always _ known.” His closed eyes don’t stop the memory reel from shifting to a mash-up of all the early mornings he woke up wrapped up in Kyle’s arms and lingered in bed, letting himself enjoy the closeness long enough for him to wake up too. Alex cringed to think of every time he chose to keep his eyes closed and his breathing neutral when he would feel Kyle spooning him just a little bit closer, nuzzling his nose into the back of his head and rubbing circles into his palm with his thumb. Initially it was only for a few seconds each morning, but he grew bolder with time, lingering longer. He’d known Kyle would never touch him that way without knowing Alex welcomed it, but acknowledging that meant confronting his own feelings and he’s never considered that an option. 

“Fuck, Alex! I hold you through your night terrors and you bathed me in the hospital and made sure I ate and I trust you with my life so completely I don’t know what to do without you beside me!” In the middle of his frantic monologue, Kyle lets go of Alex’s arms and instead starts running his fingers through his hair and pacing in front of the car. “You know what my mom said to me last week? She said how proud she is that I’ve become the kind of man you would fall in love with after everything that happened in high school.” 

At that statement, Alex’s eyes fly open, his lips parting slightly under the weight of the words but his body remaining stiff. “Kyle, please. Stop.” His eyes are pleading.

“Then stop trying to run away from me!” It exploded out of him, putting a stop to his nervous pacing. He plants himself in front of Alex again, shoulders squared and determined.

Alex’s eyes go wide and his shoulders tense. “That’s not what I’m doing! This isn’t about you!”

Kyle shakes his head, incredulous. “Don’t tell me I’m imagining things, don’t do that. You’re scared.” Alex’s jaw locks and he shakes his head, his mouth moving without words. Kyle’s restless energy is dissipating now and he continues with a tenderness he rarely shows Alex unless they’re talking in the darkness of their bed before falling asleep. “I’m scared too. I know this is how you cope, and that’s okay. I can handle it. But just because running away worked with Guerin doesn't mean it will with me. You think you can shut down and push me away enough times that eventually I'll be like him and I won't even be bothered to follow or ask you to stay. I’m not him, Alex. I know you in a way he never has.”

Alex feels his control slipping and the sting behind his eyes finally overwhelms him as he blinks and the tears start slipping down his face. “Kyle, I- look at what happened to you. You almost died. Your injuries- your career was ruined.” Not even bothering to brush away the tears, Alex is gesturing with his hands wildly, stumbling over his words, trying desperately to convince Kyle to take it all back. “Don’t do this. Don’t try to saddle yourself to someone who is so... cursed.”

Kyle gives him a sad smile and, with earnest eyes, he says, “Alex, you weren’t to blame for anything that happened to Michael and his family, and you’re not to blame for Whitehaven either.” Alex’s eyes go wide and his mouth forms an o, a wounded noise at the back of his throat sounding out in the still early morning. “You’re not cursed.”

His face now wet with tears and his breathing hoarse, Alex only manages to spit out a weak, “No.”

Kyle takes a tentative step closer to Alex, so they’re close enough to touch easily. “You think you’re hard to love because you can be cold. But you’re _ so _ easy to love, Alex. I just- I _ need _ you to understand that. I know love has come with so much baggage for you, but it doesn’t have to be that way." Kyle moves to pull his arms up from his sides, reaching for Alex's face slowly, cautiously, giving Alex time to pull back and refuse his touch. He doesn't move, just stares into Kyle's eyes, unblinking. 

Kyle's warm palms come to rest on Alex's neck, his thumbs massaging into the sore tendons. Kyle wants so badly to just rest his forehead against his, to breathe him in deeply and feel that peace he only feels when they sleep side-by-side. But he knows he can't do that right now. He has too much to say. 

"I know you feel something for me. Maybe it’s not what you had before, but I _ promise _ I can make you happy. I want to be the person who makes you happy to wake up in the morning. Because that’s who you are to me.”

“Kyle-”

“No, please, just listen! If you want to leave town, that’s fine. Really. We’re just gonna need to swing by my place for my bags. I’m going wherever you’re going, Manes. Because I’m _ so _ in love with you, and you’re in love with me too.”

There is a long pregnant pause as they stare one another down like fierce challengers, Kyle’s hands still firmly gripping his neck. Alex's eyes are glittering, boring into his as though searching for something he’d lost. A few stray tears are still slipping their way down his cheeks as he places his hands over Kyle’s and briefly squeezes before he pushes forward and fulfills the dream of his thirteen-year-old self who wanted nothing more than to kiss his beautiful best friend and be kissed in return.

When their lips meet, Alex moves his hands up into his best friend’s hair, and Kyle’s arms move down to wrap tightly around his waist. The kiss is sweet and slow, building steadily with each passing moment they refuse to part and their bodies move with one another naturally, burrowing closer and closer as tongues slip past lips and hands grasp collars for purchase. Alex moans into Kyle’s mouth, pushing his tongue in further as they stumble back against the car, Alex’s hands shifting to press against the door, trapping Kyle. Kyle eagerly submits to Alex’s suddenly demanding and bruising kisses, his hands roaming over his face and neck, never resting for long as if Alex is frantic to memorize every part of him he’s never been allowed to caress before this very second. Kyle finds himself sighing dreamily and, in a split-second decision, he strengthens his grip on the other man’s waist as he continues to kiss him in a frenzy of need, and he lifts Alex off his feet. He makes a startled noise against Kyle’s mouth and finally pulls their mouths apart, his arms wrapping tightly around his neck on instinct. 

With Alex in mid-air and starting to laugh off the surprise, Kyle leans his back fully against the car to prolong the moment he’d plucked straight out of a romantic comedy. They look one another in the eye and allow the gravity of this moment to fully wash over them. Alex bends his good leg back freely and leans into Kyle’s body, his hands interlocking behind the man’s neck, his face flushed and his smile delirious.

Breathlessly, Alex tilts his head and asks, “Are you sure? About coming with me? I don't even know where we'll end up.”

Kyle can’t help the loving smile on his face as he responds, “Where else would I want to be but with you?”

***

Around the corner, Michael is slumped against the brick building, his eyes closed and a fist clenched around his four-week sobriety chip. He’d pieced together from Liz’s phone conversation with Kyle yesterday in the lab that Alex would be here this morning, and he knew it was his last chance. Since getting clean, he’d been going over every form of an apology he could offer in his head. Sometimes he would practice on Isobel, who rolled her eyes but always urged him to continue. 

When he’d spotted Kyle Valenti waiting by Alex’s car, he felt a pang of doubt. When Alex finally appeared and he overheard their conversation, he felt a crushing sense of certainty.

It was too late for them.

***

They drive by the junkyard on the way out of town. He doesn’t look past Kyle for one last glimpse at Michael’s home; he stares Kyle directly in the eye and smiles. 

There’s nowhere he’d rather be.   


**Author's Note:**

> For full effect, imagine Carly Rae Jepsen's Run Away With Me playing over a shot of Kyle and Alex driving away from Roswell for good. I know I did.


End file.
